Where is Home?

It hasn't been easy being home, I arrived in ELP airport on the 13 of July. I would like to say that it has been great here and that I am enjoying my time back home but that wouldn't be the truth. The truth is that I miss my European life, I miss my "Swedish" family and my "Polish" friends. Sometimes I wonder if it was all real, if it wasn't an Amazing dream I had. Everything here is the same. My house, the smell of my car, the way people dress, it is all the same. I don't know if that is a good thing or not?! I look all around me and I can't seem to find something that makes me feel happy. I keep telling myself to be patient and to give myself some time to readjust, the problem with that is that I don't want to readjust to the way I use to be. I grew up up there, I learned different things and became accustom to a life that was totally different from the one here. Not only because I partied and did whatever I pleased, but I also learned to be more patient, calm, and less materialistic. I feel that the more time I spend here I will eventually go back to my bad habits lol. Like spending hundreds of dollars on a cell phone plan and driving from city to city as if gas was air. But more importantly what if I start criticizing people for the way they dress because the fashion here is so unattractive to me or if I look down on people for making dumb remarks. I have always looked at myself as being a person who loves and never judges but for the past few weeks my thoughts have become so ugly towards my surroundings. Where is the "grown up" in that? I remind myself to be calm, to control my thoughts, I pray to God to help me see the beauty in whatever it is that I am going through. My head is a HOT MESS.
I love my family and I love my friends but I can't seem to be happy here. A friend once told me home is where you are happy and time and time again I catch myself calling Poland home.  

Sweet Sweet Angie

My Beautiful Angie...I was so sad last night reading every message you would send on facebook from London Heathrow Airport. I know that it is going to be tough for you these few days and I can only imagine that you want to cry and go back to Amazing Sweden, but please hang in there. Be strong and remember that I am only a Skype call away. Plus, I will be home in 13 days. We can go through this crazy change together.
I am trying so hard to enjoy my last few days here in Poland but I am ready to be in Madrid on Tuesday evening =)!! I am so excited to see Dory, Anaisa, Guss, and Juampa and the others that might be there.Don't get me wrong though, I am also starting to realize that I will say Good Bye to the girls here in Poland and it will be a good bye for a long time and it will happen in a heart beat.

I suppose we both new that eventually our time in Europe would come to an end. What I never imagined was that I was going to love this continent so much. I never thought that I would love a Dark-Long-Five month winter in Stockholm or old Polish Ladies yelling at me. I never thought that I would call this my home.  

I pray that you will be okay and keep it together till i get home to give you an understanding huge and smile. 
I love you and we will get through this change together!!
xoxo